Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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