dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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