Slut skills are useful in every country.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
