How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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