There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
