everyone is single if you try hard enough
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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