I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
