Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
