What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
