Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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