If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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