I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
