Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
