I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
