i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
