Pappa wants mamma naked
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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