I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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