i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
