I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
