We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
