I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
