nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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