Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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