May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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