im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
