I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
