her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
