WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
