Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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