Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They took my balls.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
