scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
