How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
