Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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