Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
