My sheets look like a crime scene.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
