I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
