I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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