my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
