So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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