Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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