um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
