Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
