he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
