RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
