shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
