A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
