I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
