We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
