Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
