U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
