she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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