; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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