if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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