I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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