The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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