all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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