i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
