Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So squirting runs in the family.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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