remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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