I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize