that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
