he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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