I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
