If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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