quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
