Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
