Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
