so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
